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Two questionnaires

Posted on 2007.02.28 at 00:11


Answer these questions and repost as sex survey, lets see how many of you answer honestly ha ha

1, Have you had sexual relations with any of your myspace friends?
i ain't even on myspace. which is wierd cause it is my space, do i get a deed or something, who is in my space if i'm not there.....

2, Have you ever been paid for sex?
maybe but i'm not going to answer that for tax reasons

3, Where is the most daring place you've performed a sexual act.
on a trampoline with 14 midgets and a yak (would i lie on the internet?)

4, Have you ever cheated on a partner
in real life or someones head?

5, Have you given anyone oral sex, and did you enjoy it?
now the whole pope and the woods thing has been used, whats not to like?

6, Have you ever been given oral sex, and did you enjoy it?
can i get a hell yes! if you don't like it then they are doing it wrong, don't take the name literally girls balloons just ain't sexy and they can damage your health if swallowed

7, Have you ever lied to a partner that they were good in bed when they were'nt?
maaaaaaaaaaybe but not for many many years

8, What posisition is your favorite?
'Making puppies. Or something else that we do that hasn't got a name but it feels amazing' i just wanted to quote that as for myself anything anywhere, hell it makes the world turn.

9, Have you ever had sex with more than one person e.g. a threesome, foursome etc?
i have been a team player, and it was good

10, Have you ever made your own porn movie
tommorrow my favorite day

11, Have you ever masturbated at work or had sex at work...
i might have done, but i'm not telling where or with who

12, Have you ever masturbated for someone else?
i may have done the solo soul brother handshake for an audience.

13, Have you ever thought of someone else while having sex with a partner?
i have done on occasion, but not for sometime

14, Have you ever sent sexy pics via e-mail?
hell yes distance eats ass and not in a good way

15, Have you ever sent sexy pics via text?
the little munchkin in my phone ain't got the power to magic pictures as well as words

16, Who in your myspace friends would you most like to get down and dirty with?
i refer you to answer one, although i think i should claim my space for me and my new world order

17, Have you ever tried bondage?
it does beg the question what the security at airports would be shocked by considering what i had in the case lol

18, How do you like it, gentle and romantic or rough and dirty?
any which way but loose!

19, Where would you say is your most sensitive body part?
anything not furry, those of you who know, know!

20, Have you, and do you think other people will answer these questions honestly?
its the internet no one lies on here that would be wrong!

1.) Where were you when the ball dropped for 2007?
well for the south african new year i was talking to my lady, for the italian new year i was just about talking to my lady and on the welsh new year i was slurring to my lady. i love my bro's parties!

2.) How did you get the idea for your myspace name?
hell now i need to think of a name for my space, whats it called now? why wasn't i told that i had my space? i could have done so much with a little more space. thats it i think i must get a flag so i can claim my space

3.) Do you love anyone?
more than the sea

4.) Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?
steve irwin got the closest....but there are some that when they die i will shed a tear

6.) Do you live in a zoo?
I live in jo'burg a zoo would be safer lol.

7.) What did you eat this morning?
marmite toast and it kicked ass.

8.) Who are more complicated, boys or girls?
this is a dumb question. boys are more complicated cause we dont have a million magazines to tell us who and what we should be.

9.) Have you ever done something malicious to someone as a revenge?
Me no never, and if i have then you would never know it was me, revenge is sweet and not fattening!

10.) Have you ever cheated on a partner?
a grey area depends on whos outlook you choose.

11.) What are the last two digits of your phone number?
like i know. whats yours? why is that a valid question? why am i having such a reaction to this question? do i have something to hide?
who knows? how do they know? why would they want to know?

12.) What was the last concert you attended?
after the last sky, grind core carnage metal like tungsten god dam heavy!

13.) Who was with you?
my lady and other people and the people in the band cause gigs without bands are shit.

14.) What is the last movie you watched?
gullivers travels watch it and find out about society, even better read the book and get your eyes opened.

15.) What/who do you dislike at the moment?
bigots and arseholes although they are the same thing. racists, pedos' this is another silly question as the list could be a million lines long! but in the end i am actually plodding along through life with a beautiful girl friend, no one is trying to kill me etc so who cares just chill and enjoy what you have instead of looking for things you don't like.

16.) What food are you craving right now?
the freshly squeezed liver of a 3 year old mongolia yak or maybe jammy dodgers

17.) What did u dream about last night?
proding someone in the back.....and.......bugger off pervert its none of your bees wax what i did with a wiffle board a cord wangle and an avocado!

19.) What is your favourite piece of jewellery?
my hook it represents life to me.

20.) Name someone on your Top Friends who is just like you?
if i understood the question it would still be stupid!

21.) What's the last thing you ate/drank?
meaty pasta thing was very nice

24.) Are you on any medication?
No i stopped taking the tablets and now WE are alright!

25.) What side of the bed do you sleep on?
this side or maybe that side depends on which side i'm not on

26.) What color shirt are you wearing?
kinda furry brown, but i can't take this one off, then again if i do it would be a dark redy colour i think...one sec i'll try......ow and yup dark redy

27) What colour is your razor?
grey

28.) What is your favourite frozen treat?
mini milk.

29.) How many tattoos/piercings do you have?
i have my nurple its shiny.

30.) Whats your favourite store?
a box good all rounder comes in different sizes and colours, just so versatile.

32.) Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?
yup but i am a guy so i don't have a long and finately detailled itinerary already planned with changes for fashion and taste as this plan has exsisted since three and a half minutes after i was born, (i'm getting in trouble for that one from my fiancee)

33.) Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss?
everyone i know apart from my lady and her family cause they are here so i don't miss them.

34.) What did you do last night?
Mc telly til sleep!

35.) Do you care what people think about you?
everybody does at some point so this is a silly question, except for those that say they never care cause they care the most.

36.) Have you ever done something to instigate trouble?
yup i allowed myself to get birthed, trouble ever since.

37) Do you like your nose?
who writes these questions? yes my nose is the best one in the world it fits my face perfectly.

38.) What colour are your bedroom walls?
kinda white (again i play the bloke card).

39.) Do you like giving or getting massages more?
equally relaxes me giving or getting, so both.

40.) Have you ever snooped around your parents room before?
yup dads study was always full of cool sharp stuff.

42.) Where do you live?
in my body, as i haven't found my space yet.

43.) What is your favourite city in the world?
cities suck, so many people living so close in total isolation it rubbish, aber kicks the ass of any city!

45.) Do you like the person who posted this last?
i love her.

46.) Do you know their Birthday?
if i dont i'm in the shit lol

47.) What is your favourite thing to do on a Friday night?
eat babies, stick extra legs on spiders, try and work out why the platypus was created.

48.) Have you ever been called a tease?
oh hell yes, and the above lied. (i know here on the internet that must be a first).

50.) What is your favourite color?
ass pink you all know the colour, go on hols for a month then its the line between your tan and your bum cheeks its awesome, alternatively if you need a serious answer these question things are read by the government you know then i say a very safe, non revolutionary, conformist....al queada beard black

53.) Do you like mustard?
only in certain places

52.) What do you tell yourself when times get hard
lets get it on you sassy lady or sometimes i sing the lilt song!(and i have never heard it called 'times' before)

55.) Do old people scare you or creep you out?
neither if they start doing either i hit them in the face with an axe i find that clears the air.

56.) Have you ever bid for something on ebay?
i did and i won....go me....the winner!

57.) What do you think of Angelina Jolie being pregnant?
was it miraculous conception....cause if it wasn't whats the point of this question? did she ask what i thought cause i'm not sure if she has ever met me? so why would she care about my opinion, unless the doctors were wrong and i am the messiah! the truth is out there

58.) Do you enjoy giving hugs?
i really do, i am the right shape for them as well nature is kind.

59.) Would you consider yourself to be fashionable
the day i am fashionable the rest of the world has died.

60.) Do you have any idea how to say 2007 in Swahili?
yup but i am not telling the likes of you.

61.) Do you own any shows on dvd?
they make shows about dvds' that sounds amazing.

62.) Who is your favourite Friends character?
the dead one! what you mean none of them are dead then who DID i kill?

63.) Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do?
it might but no one dares not to.

64.) What books, if any, have made you cry?
cyrano de bergerac. read it and find out why.

65.) Do you ever feel guilty about eating meat?
if we weren't supposed to eat meat it wouldn't taste so good and make such a good noise when you crushed its skull (i hope that annoys all those self righteous veggies that tell me that i am wrong to eat meat). for those veggies think about this. when i eat meat i have killed it, it died quickly and now its suffering is over, you on the other hand take a living thing store it close to freezing then while it is still alive you boil it to death causing it so much pain that its internal juices leak out though its blistering skin.....which one of us is sick? enjoy your murder, veggie.

The end.


Comments:


bernthewitch
bernthewitch at 2007-02-27 22:18 (UTC) (Link)
You're insane my hunnybear... really, you are...

32.) Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?
yup but i am a guy so i don't have a long and finately detailled itinerary already planned with changes for fashion and taste as this plan has exsisted since three and a half minutes after i was born, (i'm getting in trouble for that one from my fiancee)


Nah, coz I know what you really feel about it.
And I love you dearly. I'm so glad you are mine, and that you followed me all the way to the ends of the earth, and support me when I need it, and hug me even when I feel like smashing things (sometimes over your head... or mine). I love you Emlyn Jones and I can't wait to become your wifey wife.
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